1/31

These few days I spent meandering along roads,

Places, with friends we knew. I am hearthurt

But not disheartened.

1/30

What can I say? It has been over a year now.

No longer can I think: last, this day, of what

we were doing.

Time has sent my soul eddying to a new distance

And although as alone as then, not so numb

Or in shock.

Time, to me, may still be sorrowfuL but wider-eyed

I carry it carefully, ever aware, even as I learn

Life lived alone.

1/13

For twelvemonth threading through my brain: last year

This time we were doing. Now? Last year this time,

I was alone.

1/11

On the eve of the 6th, Steve Early showed sketches which

Wrought my soul to tears, leaving me reeling between visions,

grief and mourning.

Oh, my darling, I now live grief and mourning.

The former may never totally abate, the latter needs must

be lived through.

Would have hocked much for both paintings that called but

Mourning was taken, as well it should be, leaving grief ever soft

In my soul.

painting by Stephen Early; however he names it, I call it: "Grief".

1/6

In the coolness of the breeze off a wide river

I walked with you in my thoughts, in my mind,

In my heart

1/5

Why come? Then, did see two small luminous paintings

Studies which cried out: "Grief", "Mourning". Tears welled

Just seeing them.

Was doing this workshop good, I ask? Yet, if not

Done, I would have missed the comfort brought by

These two paintings.

Moved by the images, the paint, forms and color;

Maybe I am in the rightest place I can be

On this day.

1/4

Start simple, refine, analyze; painting is a series

Of questions and response, of laying foundations,

Of orchestrating insight.

1/3

Work in stages, early is the time to feel for the essence,

The abstract movements, for essentials that define; the

Calligraphy that speaks.

1/2

An evening with friends

Dinner hosted by neighbors

By special people.

Grateful to be encircled by them

These caring folks, sorrowful, teary, for

Whom I miss.

1/1

This was a glorious, beautiful day

I did take the go-go's walking several times

Along farm roads,

Trying not to think so much as let the mind

Settle into the soft, warmer air trying just staying

In the moment.

Letting the pain, the hurt seep through, it will be

Here with me, and I know the comfort of your love

I'll always carry.

12/31

Eve a new year, we honored by sleeping through,

Waking with the morning into the new,

Sleepy, happy, together.

Honestly, little welcome here for this year, less

For the last. Movement fords forward, with you only

In my heart.

12/30

Mostly not doing things that so need being done

But spent time with a neighbor, driving, talking,

Tending small errands.

Taking time for talk, small or not, for sharing

Lunch, thoughts, ideas, for enjoying the company

Of good friends.

12/29

A day spent driving, taped books, dogs, sifting

Through my own slushy thoughts for harmony,

a resting place.

Over snow-packed roads, into sharp cold air

Find the car-park, the walk to the door

My path cleared.

Welcomed home by these small kindnessess

This simple caring of friends, gives to me

Such grateful comfort.

12/28

A day waiting, this time to go back

Hah, back, wistful time, waiting, now

To go forward.

12/27

By an old faith it is a year this day, but I haven't it in me

To keep track of two calendars, not now, not while

Living in transition.

Yet, will next week be any easier?

Won't be where we lived then either, only moving

Through more change.

But as I travel further into living alone, searching

New anchor points, one always, is a candle lit for you

In my heart.