Tuesday, January 31, 2012


We humans are social creatures even when going just by twos
Perhaps it is worse by twos for when one goes, where goes
The one left.

Sunday, January 29, 2012


Sitting in the chill air as the day slips to evening,
Here is where I am safe to consider, think about
What can be.

About how scary it can be, uncomfortable, uncertain,
How I move even now through the stillness and quiet
Avoiding hard choices,

Hard questions, hard answers. Silly, what is worst has happened,
Where do I want to be, if it can be, however ephemeral, may now be
Time to consider.

Saturday, January 28, 2012


I am angry tonight, alone and angry, at all your
Twosomes. Do not get me wrong, wish only to you
Your two some.

But, goddamn it, you also so easily need not think of aloneness,
Need consider not oneness, that odd so odd thing. And once,
Neither did I.

Friday, January 27, 2012


Happiness is a chimera designed to alliviate sorrow,
It fails, yet w do go on, hurting, numbed, horrified. Yet,
We go on.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012


"You are just as I remember you"
Said as if it were yesterday not
two decades ago.

No doubt perceptions are individual.
We each have our own looking glass, clear
Or, clearly not.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012


Rode in the gentle air this day, through the sun-backed shadows
To glimpse the past in a moment, ghost riding, of sweet memory.
Then read today:

"Death robbed me of the physical presence of the person
I want to be with but I shouldn't let it rob me of the enjoyment
Of this activity."

Monday, January 23, 2012


How difficult, in those early months, was a moment, how all
Was just surreal, realizing that life without really was becoming:
"This is it?"

I ran long and whenever I could to wherever. Still do.
But now recognize that perhaps as a start to "go on", which
Is not bad.

Sorrow has, contrary, not flipped me off my rockers, around
The bend, and know others have trod these sorry boards to good.
So will I.

Sunday, January 22, 2012


Between dark ultramarine skies and white glowing surf,
Horizons disappear in a smudge of deep blackness beyond what
Eyes can see.

Friday, January 20, 2012


Special to walk the sands of the oceans edge under lowering skies
Colored in luminous grays of an impending front, horizons smudged
To soft lines.

Thursday, January 19, 2012


For a few days friends filled my studio, my house with their presences,
Thoughts and ideas, giving much to the discussions,leavened with good
Food and painting.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012


Re-lived, re-assessed, re-worked, re-member, re-align, we re-hash
For sure and allow each the grace to live through the horrible,
Re-cognize the similar.

To re-alize and allow re-emerging, re-evaluting and re-creating,
Re-membering, where we have been and working, with memory
Towards the good,

Our kindness, abilities partially tested to guide us, these lists
Should include apprehension, fear, anxiety, glimmer, expectancy,
Chance and contentment.

Sunday, January 15, 2012


Some days wonder where am I going, still the love I had
This I know to be true. May not be food on the table but it can
Nourish my soul.

And keep at bay the terror of lonely, allow grace to accept.
Somewhere in all this, I persevere hoping to slip through as others,
To another level.

On this 20 Teveth, knowing my path has been trod
by others in the years, the eons past brings some comfort
To my heart.

Friday, January 13, 2012


There but for the Grace of God go I, evoked to ward
off ill. A different phrasing: There by the Grace of God
Will I go,

May serve better, as I hear of the lives of others ahead,
Not what they envisioned, how? but going and it is not all
A sob story

Thursday, January 12, 2012


Ah, those timelines of grace, of purgatory.
When going through them now, it is purgatory at best,
Hell more likely.

Yet, I have found sometimes of others who are further,
A comfort of kind, a place of rest and hope, that allows
A bit of grace.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012


Perhaps I am batting away at more cobwebs and fog
Than is really here in my life but, well, I don't wear
Glasses for nothing

And readily will acknowledge I don't always see clearly, so try:
Do the thing that's less passive. Do the active thing. There's more of
the human in that.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012


Love geese, watching them, hearing them honking, the whooshing
Of wings as they fly over. Loved our breakfasts highlighted by
Their incoming flights.

Loved all the homes where we lived that they allowed
These places let us be aware of what those walking the
wild-side were doing.

Sunday, January 8, 2012


Today joined friends to walk dogs on the Ocean City beaches.
Theirs were well behaved, mine wanted to poop all over, they just
love beach sand.

I was picking poop and my darlings were trying to poke yorkies,
But the beach is wide, encounters few and those pleasant, play fun,
I was sweating.

A walk back along the boardwalk, a stop at a pub, (called Cork You?
- what the goldies wanted to do to the yorkies) for bloodies, pizza, a
welcome for dogs.

Saturday, January 7, 2012


When the sun starts slipping below the horizon, turn away from it,
Turn and lift your eyes to the light gilding each tree. There you
Will see me.

Friday, January 6, 2012


A week ago placed a red rose for you and opened
A beer, winter lager you would like, to share -
Jayne, me, you.

A year ago kept busy painting, holding tight the pain
Of loss, finding comfort in a painting a master did.
Took it home.

Two years ago, shattered, the beautiful pieces left are
Still sharp, not dulled any, but held in love another day,
Even this day.

Thursday, January 5, 2012


Tears, for poignancy of time as "memory marks the moments
We are aware". And sometimes we are not aware where we might
Mark a memory.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012


Route 9, a way never taken by us, we knew it not, yet
This day over Reedy Point, tears seep for beauty seen and
Thoughts of loss.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012


Drove through cold as I have not felt in two years,
Over the mountains of our home state to stay
With our friend

A night before heading south. Over dinner he spoke
Of permission, of daring, of doing. His words echoing
Of keeping memory

And carrying the past gently, of embracing what's to come,
Moving onward towards it. As you would have wanted for me,
And I for you.

Monday, January 2, 2012


With your sister I have spent good hours
Over coffee, searching sales, being her guest,
Doing simple things.

Sunday, January 1, 2012


Cooked last night for mom and friend,
Baked stuffed lobster and prosecco, just we
Three, widows all.

Fresh flowers shared the table with laughter,
A few tears as I thought of time passed,
Now standing alone.

How have I born being without you, done good and not.
Perhaps time to embrace your memory and friends, now
And to come.