Wednesday, August 31, 2011

8/31

We found places with plenty of spaces for just each other.
I would write "we" again, we have moved...the truth now
Is closer to:

I did move several times, not always ready to go, not done
Seeing, being in the place, whatever place it was we lived.
Perhaps not done

Now with the beauty, privacy, comfort and knowing once
I leave here, never again will I live in a place where "we" made
A life together.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

8/30

At times I feel I can go on, hurt and halved but
Able to grow because of you. The flip side is darker.
And I feel:

Got lucky in an instant, then long loved by you.
But where have you gone, and I have my doubts will
I be welcome.

Monday, August 29, 2011

8/29

Perhaps we would've stayed here, liked the area, friends
Finding ourselves in our work. Not careers, yours always more
Viable than mine!

But our work, I loved the studios (studios!) at Line's End Farm!
Loved you had a marvelous space in which to think, to create
And to work.

Loved being able to hang your work on our walls, use it.
It will ever hurt that this path
Was cut short.

Sunday, August 28, 2011

8/28

Held within myself, lifted, even in sorrow, that
You did love me, you did never take that for granted.
What a gift.

Saturday, August 27, 2011

8/27

Waiting, these few days for Irene to land, in two places.
A hurricane reflects my quandary while here and there
Feel this storm.

Friday, August 26, 2011

8/26

Feel I am coming to a space needed,
Where this faction of grief can be placed safe.
It is not you,

It is, though, that the life you and I moved towards.
Now, towards what am I moving? Perhaps time is here
To consider it.

Letting that dream go isn't easy, however impossible it is.
But the goodness, the strength, the love of you I carry all
You gave me.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

8/25

I do now need ask, what do I do? I would ask you
Help me here, even as I do wonder, where, what has
Become of you.

Do you care any longer for what happens here? Have
You moved on, perhaps as you should, to other perceptions,
Spaces of creations?

I cannot know. Are you so far away, I will never, ever,
Not only in this life but in what ever comes, be able
Follow, find you.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

8/24

I do not dream of you, or even dream much, nothing
I can, wish to remember. I do wonder, where ever
Are you now?

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

8/23

Watch the joy of my brother, his wife, their family and am
Ever so happy to sit, eat in their lovely yard, enjoy
Being their guest.

Perhaps more than a just a guest, this is fine with me.
I miss being family with you.
Alone is hard.

Alone, beginning to own it. Alone, not lonely. I choose alone.
A step that requires its due, considers what is
Good for me.

Monday, August 22, 2011

8/22

Dithering, I am a splendor of wavering such as you could not
Imagine, stuck hard in the what-ifs, still so uncertain, indecisive.
Make me wonder

Will ever I have strength, courage to step out and become,
Well, that is the problem, What....how....when?
All need answering.

Where the strength to, not go it alone, you have given me much
That fulfills still, but how the daily steps, maybe small, mine
Alone to do.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

8/21

Met a couple my mother has known forever it seems.
Joyful, playful, surrounded by the love of their family.
Good to be.

My family, Dear One, was you, as I was for you and we,
Selfishly, kept our treasure to ourselves, to each of us only,
Good to be.

Now, I will tell you, I am floundering, hah, a funny word.
Not fishy but faltering, struggling, hesitating and a word made
You laugh, dithering.


Saturday, August 20, 2011

8/20

To a gallery to see a cousins work.
A good shw, different than what I do.
It shows well.

Looks good and content driven, it is where
We differ. His work is deepened by connection
To the word.

My work just hangs fir itself, I'm afraid. No inner
Meaning, agenda, only a moment when one may wish
To be there.

Friday, August 19, 2011

8/19

A long day, this drive of familiar roads for half a coastline.
I am tired when I get in but glad to stop driving, glad
To see family.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

8/17

The white horse is fine, rode with your friend
In our ring, late making dinner, listening to the
Two blue hour.

Thought about the importance of friends. How,
I miss the touch of you. How a quick hug now is
All I get.

The company of friends who will sit awhile, give the
Touch of their time is as sweet water. With you was
As good wine.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

8/14

Cleaning, organizing my workspace, you ever said yes,
wherever we lived, take it you said and my space
Was a studio

Thursday, August 11, 2011

8/11

Painting with friends, working in the studio
Work done during hours even with friends
Mark good time.

Sunday, August 7, 2011

8/7

No candles lit this day in celebration, no, not that.
But a dinner was made, with friends, who knowing or not,
Ease the day.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

8/3

Nine hours to get back to where I live alone,
home, or ghost moments of memory where
Once we lived.