Friday, December 31, 2010

12/31

Eve a new year, we honored by sleeping through,
Waking with the morning into the new,
Sleepy, happy, together.

Honestly, little welcome here for this year, less
For the last. Movement fords forward, with you only
In my heart.

Thursday, December 30, 2010

12/30

Mostly not doing things that so need being done
But spent time with a neighbor, driving, talking,
Tending small errands.

Taking time for talk, small or not, for sharing
Lunch, thoughts, ideas, for enjoying the company
Of good friends.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

12/29

A day spent driving, taped books, dogs, sifting
Through my own slushy thoughts for harmony,
a resting place.

Over snow-packed roads, into sharp cold air
Find the car-park, the walk to the door
My path cleared.

Welcomed home by these small kindnessess
This simple caring of friends, gives to me
Such grateful comfort.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

12/28

A day waiting, this time to go back
Hah, back, wistful time, waiting, now
To go forward.

Monday, December 27, 2010

12/27

By an old faith it is a year this day, but I haven't it in me
To keep track of two calendars, not now, not while
Living in transition.

Yet, will next week be any easier?
Won't be where we lived then either, only moving
Through more change.

But as I travel further into living alone, searching
New anchor points, one always, is a candle lit for you
In my heart.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

12/26

A blizzard whirls around, winds, flurries intensely
Buffet as the dogs walk and I am intensely, acutely aware
You aren't here.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

12/25

It is possible to be in company, family, others,
And to be fines, enjoy their company, a day loe filled
For each other.

But I can not help but be aware you are not here,
That the space you no longer fill is so really missed
Most by me.

Friday, December 24, 2010

12/24

A quick trip leaves my mother sprawled, down.
A trip to emergency, she leaves hurt, banged a bit,
But is fine.

Not an easy day which does not improve,
We are all testy, thin-skinned, hurting. Walk dogs
Crying in coldness.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

12/23

A day begun with a good friend and coffee, time
Together doing small tasks, consideration given to
Where life goes.

An afternoon spent in small things once taken
For granted, now fraught with meaning, return
To strong coffee.

Evening gathers family, food and quiet
Conversations carrying across decades, cake,
Coffee, good hours.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

12/22

Accommodations may meed be made for grief, perhaps
Part is the assimilation of it into my life, which is not
Just my grief.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

12/21

It has snowed most of this day. I hang
on the edge between happy and un, aware
choice is mine.

Monday, December 20, 2010

12/20

A friend, a wise one spoke of "used to's";
How the pain when remembering what used to be became
Bridges for her.

Making peace wit the pain of "used to's", of separation,
Allowed eventually, bridges not simply to her Dear but
To her future.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

12/19

Woke early to join a friend, a sunday service;
Music, song, company, to talk of many things
Not be alone.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

12/18

All this day walked knowing a mark
Had passed, a time we were hopeful and
Full with ourselves.

I am not so filled with just myself but am trying.
It is not always good but I keep my feet moving, even
If only shuffling.

Friday, December 17, 2010

12/17

Here the year approaches, twelve month since we knew you
Had cancer, yet so hopeful, so hopeful, so trusting and then
You were fine.

Now recognize have felt but some of the toll, grasp more will come.
Now realize each step taken, every breath exhaled just takes me further
From our time.

Three rings, our rings circle my finger that has gladly worn
Their weight, slight in ounces, yet now a ton of emotion, in joys,
In sorrows born.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

12/16

A trigger felt fleeting along the heart's edges, hesitation brought
Forward by first snow, wary in spirit of this return unheralded,
Wary of winter.

12/15

Yet another spate of days scratching sharp across the soul
Mainly making it hard to see the beauty, to feel movement, mainly
Making me tired.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

12/14

It is with surprise I find how I can plan for, look forward.
Yet always is the sorrow knowing you would support but
You aren't here.

Yes you are always in my heart, this sweetest gift allows
Comfort to me for the goodness of knowing you so well, but
I miss you.

Monday, December 13, 2010

12/13

Dogs love coming home. Made an omelet
Which we will all share. They can have none
Of the wine.

With bits of lamb and cheese, all things we so like.
Suppose, if I can think of food every so often, then
Life goes on.

12/12

The truth? I hate, three times cursed, hate
You are not here. To the very roots of myself can't stand
You are gone.

That is the truth for me, can't avoid that bit of life,
Where once we did whirl simpatico, strong in each, now
I go alone.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

12/11

Today I know more of old generators than ever would
You believe. Not so much to fix, but with more assurance
To keep going

Friday, December 10, 2010

12/10

Good talking, paint and food lace the early day
Painting each other, moving quickly, all conspire to well
Feed the soul.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

12/9

Cold, cold the morning along this creek but the river
Stones I paint are not so bad! Nearby Annie paints also,
Quiet good company.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

12/8

Up the road go the go-go's and I
Lunch with people newly met, carrying on
To a friend's.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

12/7

Time spent, an afternoon, an evening, helping
Friends put up their tree, decorate, enjoy company
Food and wine.

Monday, December 6, 2010

12/6

Eleven months out, too long my Dear, moving beyond
To one alone, I am doing. But, well, you only saw best
Beauty to me.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

12/5

MB, MB, I will remember the sun gilding your hair golder,
Your laugh, your smile. Mostly your painting. You, alas, will
Grow no older.

MB, MB, would I could have swapped. Then, I to my dear,
And, ah, you to my old shell, would've surprised for your dear.
Rest well, Girl.

2-3-4, I tell you tell you, I love you more
3-4-5, I tell you tell you, I will survive
6, can't fix.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

12/4

I learn to take time for errands needing doing,
Time for doing with others, time for small pleasures,
Time with friends.

Friday, December 3, 2010

12/3

Sometimes I feel like the laces of my shoes.
Holding all together tightly...than come days I feel
Like the soles.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

12/2

Given a gift of history, her story, filled with valor,
Causes my own to strengthen, I find courage
Hearing her details.

More rises from a simple state of grace, a path
She now looks to stride as she prays me strength, peace.
I am heartened.

With hugs, tears, with smiles, hope, off she drives
But I am granted an afternoon friend and music,
Flute echos voices.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

12/1

Wined, dined by a friend in a place, frankly,
You would never go, lol! We laugh, we cry,
Her presence welcomed.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

11/30

Again, I await the arrival of a friend
The arrival of a presence here. Not you, alas,
But nonetheless, good.

Tonight it is an old friend, reconnected joy,
Coming with the gift of compassion, wise and
Willing to listen.

Her being here, sharing this home, just a day
Or two is kindness that gives my heart respite,
A sweet perspective.

Monday, November 29, 2010

11/29

The horse I sit moves into the afternoon sun, grazing
Tall grass. A friend phones some business. I wait content
In warm light.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

11/28

In the morning sun light, our friends, (she is yours, too)
Embraced me and in the coolness of the bright fall day
Left for home.

Left me here in this home, a quiet place where I will learn
To rest, learn to wait, open to what may come, knowing
Friends will help.

Saturday, November 27, 2010

11/27

A year ago, a year ago I remember, Dear, how excited you were,
And I for you. I remember, every day, you. But your opening day deer?
Is not ready

11/26

An ordinary day, we woke, he brewed coffee, lunched,
She and I shopped, visited your museum, dined with friends,
An extraordinary day.

Friday, November 26, 2010

11/25

Why did I so feel the need to keep this tradition this year?
Why? We found it good to keep, rarely with many, but those few
Ever so dear.

In our souls, in our words, were you there, for the grace
Of our friends, I give thanks and it is true, we remember our loves
In our hearts

Thursday, November 25, 2010

11/24

Briefly this friend and I speak, of being here longer,
Once would never have thought of staying but now can
Allow the possibility.

Neighbors, stop by, the sun shines warmly, dogs play.
We all walk mown pastures, shoot clays over stubble fields,
Help one another.

Through a day of beauty we move together, friends
Accompanying friends through all manners of passes,
Supporting each other.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

11/23

Did clean and neaten our home for our friend and
You would ever so loved meeting his friend.
She is caring.

And for her good heart to come so far, leave her own,
Consent to travel with our friend, their kindness spent here,
I am thankful.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

11/22

Early rise to walk along a river park, to paint cool waters,
Warm colors, happy in the moment, friends near to share
A morning's beauty.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

11/21

Moving off into a quiet Sunday morning is special,
The roadways clear, easy, the day bright, sweet arriving
To friend's welcome.

A soft joy recognizing her home, admiring quiet spaces.
Hearing neighbors', shopping the mart, dining with friends,
Sleep deeply rested.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

11/20

So often am stuck floating aimlessly, just get through the day.
Lost in the middle of where? Here, nowhere, no longer does life skim
Heart to mind

With the ease of innocence, simplicity of aims. I do know now
time was sweeter. Now wits mired in mud, feet lost in fog, find
Trusting me hard.

Time is needed to wend the way, find the compassed cause
Able to hold a soul steady. Now, perhaps, must satisfy to just
Hold fear better.

Friday, November 19, 2010

11/19

I will not say this day was not good, but it was filled.
Took another widowed one to the opening, she talked,
We all laughed.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

11/18

Mark the time gone by, the evening warm enough to sit
Outside as the sun sets. A talisman of transition soothes
My lonely soul.

Mark the time, weeks no traveling done. Mark my own
Company can suffice, even preferred. If given in small steps
I am okay.

Mark the time, strive for the plausible, the hour, the day gained in
Increments of solace between the wide steppes. Too far forward
Looks too empty.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

11/17

Week ago sat in the station as friends played their blues show,
Watching the fine play possible between couples. Ours is gone,
Glad theirs isn't.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

11/16

In the midst of blues, of tentative steps approached,
Two events occur, and as so often happen, in their time,
Not really mine.

A friend calls talking of a spectrum wide of issues, says
My voice, I sound stronger, tells of those he loves, how to
Trash stuff, lol!

And I clean my palettes, set paints, bring up images stored
Since last winter, they have been frozen to my soul waiting,
Now to emerge.

Monday, November 15, 2010

11/15

Not a simple morning, telling someone who did not know. Came back,
Re-raked in a high snit. Remember, over a year since had one of those.
You would laugh.

But, you see, this chore was mine alone to do this year, next year
may be different, but the doing, the carrying out of this deed this time
Needed doing alone.

Needed only you for company, and the swirling, whirling flight
Of starlings, whose undulating flights delighted you that last morning.
This too, I remember.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

11/14

Awoke realizing that raking, for me, is reparations done
For missing you. Petty, I begrudge help given kindly. But, a
Little, I do.

Entered the day unsettled and unnerved, adrift.
In inches the day looms long, along with learning to live
Within my solitude.

Afternoon, a gift of riding good horses, of friendship,
While evening sets below the horizon in golden glazes
Faith feeds us.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

11/13

Shrouded these times ever in sorrow, though not
always apparent, have at times lamented the loss
Of a friendship.

Too soon, as these friends we knew come saying
Come over, or we are coming, however, all meaning
We are here.

11/12

The summer's travels gave space, a place not our home,
Time to learn of living without your physical presence.
Time to consider:

Can I possibly live here alone, not forever, but for time
Enough to let my mind settle? It is too isolated, too large,
Too much work.

Yet, so beautiful, room for home, studios, good neighbors.
There could be worse places for learning living alone, what I
Want for myself.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

11/11

We, we, we...we were. No longer.
No, no, no...no longer am I a we.
Only Linda alone.

Only now see well enough the beauty
Of We to know the worth yet in becoming
Only Linda alone.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

11/10

Bone-cold are the waters off Scusset Beach
But come not close to that given by last winter's
soul freezing chill.

Years ago Catherine and I sat that beach and she
Remarked: I've been widowed and I've been divorced,
Dead is better.

They are gone and can no longer hurt you.
Felt then, I understood but now? Now much more
I would ask.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

11/9

For friends who come by and do wish to be near,
For the flute's beautiful soaring sound, I give thanks
For hours so blessed.

Monday, November 8, 2010

11/8

Early up, prep a simple breakfast, pack an after-ride nosh.
They like the bread. Along the Atlantic, sea-sprayed, we ride
Into the wind.

Hope their time here was pleasing, but am full
For now, of others, however pleasant all their
Stories so different.

So evening again on your bench as the ruddy-red sun slips
Below the far treelines, below the energy of the day,
I wish rest.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

11/7

A friend calls, has sold two of my paintings.
The neighbors' guests arrive, settle in upstairs.
We ride horses.

Guests in this house, we all dance small courtesies,
Allowing time together to spiel smoothly. This is
A new endeavor.

Friday, November 5, 2010

11/5

It is getting colder, fine it is November
And ever did I like this time for being outside,
For golden hours.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

11/6

Ten months out on this strange sorrowed sea,
A journey which will raise new horizons but never
Our home port.

11/4

Friends call, while we talk, for that time
I am connected, their lives and mine entwine.
It feels good.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

11/3

What will this day bring?
Hours long and quiet, filled with
Small things done.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

11/2

Still in a place with little or no footing, still
Barely feeling a bit of toehold, a wisp of light,
A hint of path.

Monday, November 1, 2010

11/1

Upon your bench I sit, glass of wine in hand, writing,
Sad, wishing, glad for having your love, for having such
Sunsets before me.

Ah, setting suns we'd both exclaimed the beauty. Colors now dim,
An owl hoots, cat purrs, a duck quacks and I am so tired,
The glass empty.

Time to take the go-go's in and rest.
Tonight I am overwhelmed
Over my head.

Sunday, October 31, 2010

10/31

A dear friend harbors me this weekend, not all that easy.
Easy for concern, love given of these and other friends but not
For lack of you.

My best show here ever, new people as well as old caring enough
To take home my paintings. Friends well wished but I miss
My finest fan.

Saturday, October 30, 2010

10/30

It is good creating something and see it pleases another:
Food prepared, homes well made, children raised, love nurtured.
My paintings sell.

Friday, October 29, 2010

10/29

Once again on the road, once again on Branch where
All those years ago I first traveled to join you on
Our marvelous adventure.

It was, you know, marvelous. Our Farm, Finally,
A place to live, to grow, to love. Addresses did change.
Not the love.

Now, not an easy road to drive for more than traffic,
Now, not a road we would want to, heavy with progress, we'd
Now feel misnamed.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

10/28

Yesterday I rode with our friend along this river's marshy banks
Places we had yet to go. I am grateful for his good company but, well,
It wasn't you.

But the day was so fine and I enjoyed riding these new trails,
Listening to his tales of who else has lived this land, all the while
Quietly missing you.

I will, you know, miss you. It is part of me now and I hold it,
Remembering you and I, even while reveling in this evening's
A glorious sunset.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

10/27

How? How do we touch each other?
How. In the glance, the soft touch we live
In each other.

You did touch and lift and allow me so much
Your love a constant support, well of strength
I thank you.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

10/26

Vocation, these last past decades mine was our lives together,
Imperfectly but honestly shared. I loved the life we built
Above all else.

Easy to be your wife, easily rewarded as you just loved me;
Nothing else came close. Memory can carry the sustenance of,
Not the substance.

What now the basis of my life, painting was avocation. A switch?
Your love become my avocation. Now possible painting be vocation?
Should it be?

Monday, October 25, 2010

10/25

What do I want? How would I name it? Home.
Even now without my heart's love, a place where soul, memories,
I can rest.

Home encompassing a sense of peace, of sanctuary, of comfort.
Requiring wherewithal for support in value of vocation,
Compensation for toil.

So what is to be my vocation. Learn to live with myself.
Allow this should probably be learned here, where
I presently live.

10/24

What words can I summon this evening late
That might remotely atone our lost nights,
My mourning hours.

This day unveiled in love for you, every step,
Movement, breath, sound, echoing both
love and loss.


10/23

Indeed grateful for all inclusions felt, yet
Recognize that in the laundry of life, am now
An unmatched sock.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

10/22

The hours - sweet to tarry and talk with a friend,
Welcomed into her circle filled wisely - are a balm
For strength needed.

Friday, October 22, 2010

10/21

Not glad to close the door on our fine animals,
My friends, family such as it is. I am off along
The road alone.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

10/20

This night I am looking for sleep
Having filled the day with anticipation
Of tomorrow's road.

This day the room you called your own
Has changed, you would not recognize it
Much, I'm sad.

This morning came with the soft drumming
Of rain, gray light and horses snorting
And dogs snoring.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

10/19

Months of movement manages only so much.
So a little I've learned, I'm quieter maybe, sadder, and now
I am tired.

Tired as chores pile, as duties demand attention, and
I wonder what's missed, while crossing done off a list
that never ends.

Tired of really having only myself to rely on, inept,
unorganized, unstable, unclear, wondering how one keeps
a steady course.

Monday, October 18, 2010

10/18

Through these past fall days, with company or no,
I walk under skies magnificent, weather soft and you
Ever in mind.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

10/17

Deep clear blue skies soar above, we ride a morning
searching for glory. With company, I see this beauty
Alone without you.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

10/16

In a moment, odd, it hits our old friends
That however finely we might speak of you,
You are gone.

A gesture, remark, the order of your shop,
It hits, you are gone. Then, the moment moves on,
As do they.

Normal, of course, I recognize others will get on,
Natural to do. I know 'we' were paramount only
To you and me.

Friday, October 15, 2010

10/15

A day of prepping for friends coming to visit
Of cleaning and cooking and finally welcoming
Our old friends.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

10/14

My Dear always said: I never take you for granted. And he never did.
I tried, always, to let him know he was the best part
Of my life.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

10/13

"How are you?" rhetorical, waits to hear, "Good, and you?"
Only, I am not, good. But some know not what to say, yet wish
To be there.

I am thankful to stay in their loop, glad for the time given.
Some get it, returning to normal is never, at best
A different normal.

This kindness of friends, their words of you, often laced with humor,
Allows me motion beyond the grip of grief to a place I might hold it
On my own.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

10/12

Quiet morning moments when not a cat sleeps on your side,
Coffee pot needs cups for just one, Delbert McClinton really is giving
It up alone.

Shadows on the workshop path are made by sun shade alone;
Dinner is only me and candles lit in memory, in late moments I lay
finally to sleep

On abed that could be narrowed by half. When I will know
Grief, light or dark, knocks and grief hits daily while my
Heart miss beats.

Monday, October 11, 2010

10/11

Spent the day barefoot padding the backside of Assateague,
Shell-picking with a youngster who would rather not ride
Good beach day

Sunday, October 10, 2010

10/10

In a friends sweet visit I find comfort, movement for body, soul
We paint from a neighbor's yard a setting sun in glory and
Drink their wine.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

10/9

My name is common - as is yours, my love.
A painting friend and I address to each "the other Linda"
Now another Linda

Walks a path so similar to ours, my love.
Another Jack has left another Linda behind, yet again
Another Linda alone.

We are left to our farewells: fare well our loves.
We fear fair will not be a commodity soon we'll see -
Lost too love.

Friday, October 8, 2010

10/8

Sweet day and evening with painting friends, our work displayed well,
I watch and listen as folks swelled and simple speak their joy
Of our work.

It is a fine thing so many value the work we do
Marvelous when they part with money to take it home
An honor sublime.

As is even, hearing the longing of those who can't afford
But are souls captivated by our simple brushwork, wishing
It was theirs.