Wednesday, March 31, 2010


There is so much to be done here, well you knew looking to have time,
Time enough to do all and more. I look across fields and sky, struck still
And am overwhelmed.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010


Friends fly away, fly back to their own lives
Their own, this day of water-filled towns
No shortage weeping.

I don't see life as getting better, just as something to get through
And getting through will not put me anywhere so good as I was, so
I slog on.

Monday, March 29, 2010


This a week of cooking and conversing
Of concepts spanned out of thoughts and plates picked clean
Of keeping busy.

Sunday, March 28, 2010


Walking the ocean beaches, we lean against high winds
While shorebirds whirl cawing above us.
I wish the wind was you.

Saturday, March 27, 2010


Golden glints backlit over the warm russet marshes
The river runs high, a steely ribbon in a season of persistent excess
In all but the sky.

Evening light washes the expanse of field and wetlands
With colors muted in undertones of silvered pumice
Lay quiet on the eyes

Friday, March 26, 2010


This week of gentler weather allows walk abouts
Discussing plants and small tasks under skies too soft for sunsets.
Maybe tomorrow.

Thursday, March 25, 2010


I go with this friend to visit a town, a shop, an eatery
And for a space can dress that time in limbo, you await our return.
Dull glass shards the soles of my feet.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010


The kitchen fills with the clang of spoons and pots.
Breads kneaded, formed, come fresh baked, leaving
Aromas of approval.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010


Through my mind circles an epithet changed for you
He never moved the stars from their courses
But he loved a good woman and he rode good horses.

I thought this would be on my headstone.

Monday, March 22, 2010


Providence brings a friend to stay with voices, laughter.
She settles into her room, unpacking company and conversation,
Ready to enjoy this home we made.

Sunday, March 21, 2010


Driving south over roads oft traveled, a friend as co-pilot.
I loved being your co-pilot, believing we had so many miles yet to fly
Now I solo

Saturday, March 20, 2010


Drove by this morning on the way to providence
Still staggering from what fate has rent on us, needing to find my way
On my own,

Drove by so I would know my way, on my own.
A way I really do not know but need accept as I must
On my own.

Friday, March 19, 2010


Oh how my soul does cry out wanting you back, not there.
Not there, however serene the spaces, however I can not change things.
How must I leave you there.

Thursday, March 18, 2010


I have not enough now to help myself, my strength is small
I go through the paces of each day marking dirt in small steps,
Mainly hiding.

Hiding behind the commonplace, the small courtesies
Keeping from screaming, from kicking, from writhing in pain
Holding to breath.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010


I don't know what I am doing -I say that a lot these days.
Not entirely true as I weigh, sift, lumber, through thick muds
Looking for steady footing

Some, immersed in their own, claim to know how I feel, proceed
To submerge me. Decked in their momentary drama, have no idea,
really. I say nothing

For in this passing into death is a line of kind so crossed
Comparisons, however well imagined are not genuine, one continues
The other not

Tuesday, March 16, 2010


To sit with a friend who listens, hears
As I speak aloud my thoughts and fears is
To sit with a good friend

Not a small motion, it is looking at a house, a dream. an idea,
Considering at all without your thoughts, likes or nots, without you
Living in these alone.


Rained all the way to Albany. Stopped and was nice for Sunday.
Rained all the way to the Cape. I, too, rained tears while driving
But good to see Joel.

Cried down I-90 through rain and cold to a quiet evening with mom
And brother and a pot of steamers. Tomorrow supposed to be sunny.
Perhaps, me, too.

Monday, March 15, 2010


With friends I shoot trap and skeet. Often you let others use your guns.
But even that simple act, even this simple thing is so changes
As am I.

I did not shoot your gun but another lighter, hit only one clay trap.
At the low house, I did shoot low,high, quick, quick as ever you did,
For you, for you.

Sunday, March 14, 2010


Close the door on a house quick cleaned, leave two dogs sleeping
One cat snuggled on our bed, her bed, another curled in the feed room.
Horses nibble hay.

Close the door, walk the boards you painted, this place you tended.
No longer our place, just my place. I, not glad or sad, emotion tamped,
I am softly empty.

Saturday, March 13, 2010


Again this season proves true to itself, storm filled and difficult.
Gray skies lower across tawny ochre marshes, skies dark with rain.
The car is packed.

Friday, March 12, 2010


The quick, numbing shock is gone, leaving tears ever seeping.
Now edges raw, bloodied, just lay open, easily, constantly hurt.
Thoughts snagged by pain.

Thursday, March 11, 2010


Radio sounds the same, condolence cards have gone out.
Folks get on with their days, Our days are ended, Jack is gone.
And I am only Linda alone.

Mourning is so personal, so selfish and I am so missing Jack.
Hurt, fearful of a future without him. How to learn to live past
The uncertainty to find place.

We were complete, it is no small thing to make a home.
One of the kindest things ever I did for you, was to place your artwork
on our walls, among, in our home.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010


Cooked a tangine you liked from the venison you provided
It fills the freezer. Neighbors, came bringing cheer and wine
Kept company and grace.

Later I walked the dogs under the clear cold night sky.
I did holler to the star my love for you, hollered hoping,
Hoping you heard.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010


You are so wrapped round my soul and twined through
My very synapses. A sweet guide, bring me round,
Hark to your dearest principles, tenets true and tried

Monday, March 8, 2010


Note to self, remember what seems a fine idea late at night
Could no doubt use careful editing
In the morning.

Sunday, March 7, 2010


I sat a horse today, the last one
you rode, through forests once, only
I rode with you,

Bittersweet day, my soul ached
To enjoy its beauty because my heart hurt with
you not there.

Saturday, March 6, 2010


Simple things become not so, our dog is at the vets
Because you are gone and I must wait, so must our other pets.
Be good dear animals.

A friend welcomes to her home, fingers caressing a baby grand.
Spring's sun warms the earth, the road is passable, no small feat.
Greetings are warmly given

Scones & tea, conversation seduce me to stay comforted in sweet
friendship, to stay so long, a whole precious day, dearer than gold.
A treasure to hold to my heart.

Friday, March 5, 2010


The time draws near to carry my own, to burden others no more.

Others have given their respects, concern and care; are done and wish
To get on with their own beauties, beliefs, unhampered by my sorrows.
I can see this.

Wrapped so long, warmed well,
We did turn in beautiful full arcs.
Well loved within

Within our circle, insulated with love,
I basked in the potent sweetness of our contentment,
Replete in our time.

The break is cold and lonely.
Alone, Alone, Alone, a weary tolling that I now own
No sense of self, no defense of self.

A fragmentary, futile, flotsam in your wake
I am so scared of being alone with no other, no care, no love.
Know only why should anyone?

Thursday, March 4, 2010


Nothing is warm nor do I believe it ever will be again.
Oh yes, winter will pass and summer suns will burn hot.
But I look not for warmth returning.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010


Your NH neighbor, mom's age, chainsawed her stove wood. Can't
Get the tractor started. You always said you loved me. I wondered why.
I believe you must feel so, too.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010


Tears come checked not easily, I am simply so scared, so, so alone.
With a friend I can talk, think, converse before settling back low.
I breath, why?