Friday, December 31, 2010


Eve a new year, we honored by sleeping through,
Waking with the morning into the new,
Sleepy, happy, together.

Honestly, little welcome here for this year, less
For the last. Movement fords forward, with you only
In my heart.

Thursday, December 30, 2010


Mostly not doing things that so need being done
But spent time with a neighbor, driving, talking,
Tending small errands.

Taking time for talk, small or not, for sharing
Lunch, thoughts, ideas, for enjoying the company
Of good friends.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010


A day spent driving, taped books, dogs, sifting
Through my own slushy thoughts for harmony,
a resting place.

Over snow-packed roads, into sharp cold air
Find the car-park, the walk to the door
My path cleared.

Welcomed home by these small kindnessess
This simple caring of friends, gives to me
Such grateful comfort.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010


A day waiting, this time to go back
Hah, back, wistful time, waiting, now
To go forward.

Monday, December 27, 2010


By an old faith it is a year this day, but I haven't it in me
To keep track of two calendars, not now, not while
Living in transition.

Yet, will next week be any easier?
Won't be where we lived then either, only moving
Through more change.

But as I travel further into living alone, searching
New anchor points, one always, is a candle lit for you
In my heart.

Sunday, December 26, 2010


A blizzard whirls around, winds, flurries intensely
Buffet as the dogs walk and I am intensely, acutely aware
You aren't here.

Saturday, December 25, 2010


It is possible to be in company, family, others,
And to be fines, enjoy their company, a day loe filled
For each other.

But I can not help but be aware you are not here,
That the space you no longer fill is so really missed
Most by me.

Friday, December 24, 2010


A quick trip leaves my mother sprawled, down.
A trip to emergency, she leaves hurt, banged a bit,
But is fine.

Not an easy day which does not improve,
We are all testy, thin-skinned, hurting. Walk dogs
Crying in coldness.

Thursday, December 23, 2010


A day begun with a good friend and coffee, time
Together doing small tasks, consideration given to
Where life goes.

An afternoon spent in small things once taken
For granted, now fraught with meaning, return
To strong coffee.

Evening gathers family, food and quiet
Conversations carrying across decades, cake,
Coffee, good hours.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010


Accommodations may meed be made for grief, perhaps
Part is the assimilation of it into my life, which is not
Just my grief.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010


It has snowed most of this day. I hang
on the edge between happy and un, aware
choice is mine.

Monday, December 20, 2010


A friend, a wise one spoke of "used to's";
How the pain when remembering what used to be became
Bridges for her.

Making peace wit the pain of "used to's", of separation,
Allowed eventually, bridges not simply to her Dear but
To her future.

Sunday, December 19, 2010


Woke early to join a friend, a sunday service;
Music, song, company, to talk of many things
Not be alone.

Saturday, December 18, 2010


All this day walked knowing a mark
Had passed, a time we were hopeful and
Full with ourselves.

I am not so filled with just myself but am trying.
It is not always good but I keep my feet moving, even
If only shuffling.

Friday, December 17, 2010


Here the year approaches, twelve month since we knew you
Had cancer, yet so hopeful, so hopeful, so trusting and then
You were fine.

Now recognize have felt but some of the toll, grasp more will come.
Now realize each step taken, every breath exhaled just takes me further
From our time.

Three rings, our rings circle my finger that has gladly worn
Their weight, slight in ounces, yet now a ton of emotion, in joys,
In sorrows born.

Thursday, December 16, 2010


A trigger felt fleeting along the heart's edges, hesitation brought
Forward by first snow, wary in spirit of this return unheralded,
Wary of winter.


Yet another spate of days scratching sharp across the soul
Mainly making it hard to see the beauty, to feel movement, mainly
Making me tired.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010


It is with surprise I find how I can plan for, look forward.
Yet always is the sorrow knowing you would support but
You aren't here.

Yes you are always in my heart, this sweetest gift allows
Comfort to me for the goodness of knowing you so well, but
I miss you.

Monday, December 13, 2010


Dogs love coming home. Made an omelet
Which we will all share. They can have none
Of the wine.

With bits of lamb and cheese, all things we so like.
Suppose, if I can think of food every so often, then
Life goes on.


The truth? I hate, three times cursed, hate
You are not here. To the very roots of myself can't stand
You are gone.

That is the truth for me, can't avoid that bit of life,
Where once we did whirl simpatico, strong in each, now
I go alone.

Saturday, December 11, 2010


Today I know more of old generators than ever would
You believe. Not so much to fix, but with more assurance
To keep going

Friday, December 10, 2010


Good talking, paint and food lace the early day
Painting each other, moving quickly, all conspire to well
Feed the soul.

Thursday, December 9, 2010


Cold, cold the morning along this creek but the river
Stones I paint are not so bad! Nearby Annie paints also,
Quiet good company.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010


Up the road go the go-go's and I
Lunch with people newly met, carrying on
To a friend's.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010


Time spent, an afternoon, an evening, helping
Friends put up their tree, decorate, enjoy company
Food and wine.

Monday, December 6, 2010


Eleven months out, too long my Dear, moving beyond
To one alone, I am doing. But, well, you only saw best
Beauty to me.

Sunday, December 5, 2010


MB, MB, I will remember the sun gilding your hair golder,
Your laugh, your smile. Mostly your painting. You, alas, will
Grow no older.

MB, MB, would I could have swapped. Then, I to my dear,
And, ah, you to my old shell, would've surprised for your dear.
Rest well, Girl.

2-3-4, I tell you tell you, I love you more
3-4-5, I tell you tell you, I will survive
6, can't fix.

Saturday, December 4, 2010


I learn to take time for errands needing doing,
Time for doing with others, time for small pleasures,
Time with friends.

Friday, December 3, 2010


Sometimes I feel like the laces of my shoes.
Holding all together tightly...than come days I feel
Like the soles.

Thursday, December 2, 2010


Given a gift of history, her story, filled with valor,
Causes my own to strengthen, I find courage
Hearing her details.

More rises from a simple state of grace, a path
She now looks to stride as she prays me strength, peace.
I am heartened.

With hugs, tears, with smiles, hope, off she drives
But I am granted an afternoon friend and music,
Flute echos voices.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010


Wined, dined by a friend in a place, frankly,
You would never go, lol! We laugh, we cry,
Her presence welcomed.