Monday, October 31, 2011

10/31

Here, as usual whenever I can, I sit beneath
The river birch on your bench. It is a cool, dusky
Evening darkening sooner.

Halloween, no expectations of trick or treat,
Decade since we need prepare, so the dogs play and
I sip wine.

Sunday, October 30, 2011

10/30

A day with the 15th - 17th c paintings of the National Gallery
Wandering among great painters and noticing sweet details
To bring home.

Meant to sketch, a Van Dyke portrait, but got so caught
In all the marvelous touches these painters, had time to draw
Only for minutes.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

10/26

You were my closest frind, my husband.
For a time my best friend was a horse, Rowan. Now
Loneliness supplants all.

Now it is there when I wake, less than company,
Now is no one who cares for me or I for them, not
As with you.

Heralding hour on hour, see only drawn days that
Stretch pass my ability to make contact, leaving me
Wrapped in loneliness

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

10/25

Today another spoke of grieving through to joy,
Not pain. We shared love and wished only good
For each other.

You are not with me here, but knowledge of love,
Ours, holds steady, holds me still. For this I
Will choose joy.

Monday, October 24, 2011

10/24

The skies are clear green and cerulean brushed
By clouds pinked and purpled. The barn cat purrs
While rubbing me.

Starlings flock south, the dogs romp and roll,
A soft evening of color, temp, good night as the
Sun slips down.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

10/23

Whenever home, here I sit to watch
the sun set and the stars rise while
Clouds reflect beauty.

Colors so strong and marvelous as were you
ANd all the places where, in comfort, in sweetness,
Our lives twined.

Saturday, October 22, 2011

10/22

Rousted five deer out of the beanfields.
Go-go's stayed close while the sun set, am
Back for awhile.

Learning to live alone is one thing as
I so miss the presence of a person who
Is good company.

Friday, October 14, 2011

10/14

Traveling again, doing an art show, variation
On what you watched me do years ago.
Missed your help.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

10/13

Spent the day prepping for a show while
Listening, dancing to music I knew before
I knew you.

Monday, October 10, 2011

10/10

Clouds stringing across the sky are purple
Presences against which the first ochre
Of geese wing

Before the sun slipping down in a splendor
Of molten golds, reds and oranges while a sky
Of cerulean blue

Deepens through cobalt and ultramarine to night
Still warm enough for mosquitoes, still I miss the
Presence of you.

Sunday, October 9, 2011

10/9

Been thinking of the dynamics around the idea
Of moving towards, which some think is about time.
What about you?

Been listening to the whirr of small birds flying,
How this pleased you, too, and how you are
Ever with me.

Friday, October 7, 2011

10/7

This eve, Yom Kippur starts, day of atonement
Yes I am not so familiar with this high day as perhaps
I should be.

Yet do feel a need to amend, to atone, to seek
Forgiveness, this I do know, do wish, from
And to you.

Thursday, October 6, 2011

10/6

Worked around here, then dinner with friends.
Good to be welcomed there with friendship
And tasty food.

Gave me a CD to hear on the ride home, listened
To an arrangement of an oldie.....papa was
A rolling stone....

And when he died, all he left us was alone...
(I am grateful for friends' support) but how
True this feels.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

10/5

The sun has set along the river marshes And out
of the west, under a clear sky darkening through blues,
Cerulean to indigo,

In an absence of clouds, hear many geese settling
For the evening. We so loved to hear, to see them,
Harbingers of fall.

Yesterday a milestone once we so looked forward to,
this year I let pass with only my tears, only my
Own solitary company.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

10/4

Rode the old white horse this evening, took the dogs
And meandered along the back hay fields to
The farm roads.

While the old fellow grazed, thought of life now.
There is much good in it, you made it
So, even now.

Dealing with it, mostly feel the direction is
Still "away", yet there is a slight turn now
Of moving "towards".

I am surprised how vague, how undefined that is.