Saturday, July 31, 2010


Through these past months seasoned heavily with grief
I have foundered, lost of your support, your love,
I am rudderless.

These two weeks have given respite, a haven, a time
Of working well, of encouragement. The only time I felt
You would affirm.


Every time you see a line, an angle,
See the color that moves you, that sweetens the thought,
Place it purely.

Friday, July 30, 2010


Take the initial time setting up what is important.
This will allow all to pull together more easily.
Trust you can.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010


Painting is a process of problem solving,
Adjusting from the major to minor, fixing so, as in life,
Surprises are fewer.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010


It is crucial to understand
That the time to move forward it when
All is ready.

Monday, July 26, 2010


Here we learn to establish the limitations
Here of paints being used but perhaps also,
Of one's time.

Sunday, July 25, 2010


This fine evening filled with Irish music, with good food,
Filled with work done well and enjoyable people,
I miss you.

Saturday, July 24, 2010


These good days I have felt the work move through me,
Allowing focus to steady, leaving only deep nights for
Tears to run.

Friday, July 23, 2010


Find the movement that sings to you, the shapes
that hold bold, find your landmarks and hold fast,
Trust your instincts.

Thursday, July 22, 2010


Start with what is seen easiest, get it right.
Then go forward, only adding when all is correct.
Placement is essential.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010


It is better to arrive at the truth of a painting
Not by merely copying what is seen but by understanding
What is seen.

Monday, July 19, 2010


On so many levels the thing of importance is understanding
What stands in light, what in shadow. Perhaps mostly when
values are close.


Here is a place we could not have gone together,
Nor would I have chosen to go alone, content to stay
By your side.

Sunday, July 18, 2010


On the move again, on in tow with someone bright,
Articulate and talented, eager to adventure, to paint,
to learn new.

Saturday, July 17, 2010


It is not easy this living without you, not easy to hear another say
I've become mean-spirited, spiteful, a parasite on people I need,
An ugly being.

Friday, July 16, 2010


Some things must be learned to lived without:
Love, warmth, hugs, love, companionship,
Living without you.

Thursday, July 15, 2010


Moving around these spaces of this house
What once was our home, I see now is penance
For my sins.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010


I do need to consider that equilibrium is too lofty a goal
As just learning to live the moment here alone is
Perhaps beyond me.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010


Round my barn a group sits, friends we knew.
The farrier tells a tale of a horsewoman dead from
her own hand.

Of back surgery gone wrong, a farm ever filled with chores
Of a husband dead these three years past. Why only I hearing this
Saw a connection.

Monday, July 12, 2010


To your friends I am, what, a crippled cousin to whom
They are indeed kind for now, while I watch as they move on to places
I cannot follow.

Sunday, July 11, 2010


These hot hard days I drive roads familiar to us
But traveling without you. alone, alone, it hurts
Alone without you.


I am trying, my Dear, I am. Plowing through these days,
Without us, with only me, a small being alone, carrying
You only within.

Saturday, July 10, 2010


I loved cooking for you, arranging tastes for you
To savor, enjoy. Without you, thankfully, friends still
Sometimes sit in.

Friday, July 9, 2010


Here are not a quantity of friends and I fear
I lay my burdensome self heavily on them, but then,
They are quality.

Thursday, July 8, 2010


The line between "Here" and "Then not" is just that.
On one side this person we love is with us,
Whatever the circumstances.

And then, they are not.
The line crossed is of kind
Not of degree.

102 today, Dear, hot even for you.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010


Again over long roads I weave,
Wearing a scarf of grief, a wet trail on cheeks
Weary for you.

Six months out on a journey ship-lapped in sorrow,
Aboard this sorry Pequod, rudderless, worn thin and
Missing my mate

Missing our life.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010


Long ago I could be alone, feeling surrounded by others.
Now I am alone when surrounded by others, meaning only
I am alone.

Monday, July 5, 2010


Ah, what to do with me as we three stand
Stranded, well, I've no idea where the fireworks are but
Dinner was good.

Sunday, July 4, 2010


We each had our things we loved to do.
We each allowed the other might not
Wish to do.

You, with your friends, so enjoyed your sport
Of clays, of trap, of skeet and courses
Walked in camaraderie.

These days I accompany your wingman.
We contemplate, concentrate, aim, and mark
The day well.

Saturday, July 3, 2010


Alone I wend my way to you.
Alone I kneel on dry grasses over you.
Alone I go.

Thursday, July 1, 2010


Ruby returns carrying me over roads I know,
Knew so long ago before I knew you but
Not so sweetly

Our friend and I rumble into the fray of the bridges
To purr along quiet back lanes, visiting friends and pubs
And dry wines.