Amidst well laid plans things can go amiss And from that serendipity emerge, as today In this workshop. A better demo resulted and we all learned more. And this group has been fun to be with, not necessary, but certainly appreciated.
How do I feel now, living alone? Grateful For my animals, my friends but being alone Isn’t so easy Yet also not as hard as it was, I miss you, always. It is not what I have any longer, what is is, yesterday, Tomorrow and now.
With you days would fly, fully, completely by only you and me, With nary a glance, concern, of what was happening Beyond our sphere. Without you, I have had days, months years, too long Without support, caring, gnawing through my soul Beyond my hope. In the long cold of these past several weeks, I’ve come Perhaps, to a place, recognizing, accepting, a change into My own sphere.
While confirming plans for a later date, A friend allowed if those fell through, she’d come here. Its been awhile. How long she asked? And I thought, the painting bunch? Maybe last spring. Really? Really. Company rarely is my reality now. I know it is up to me to put in the effort, invite, arrange. Mostly, though, it only proves, what I already know, how Alone I am.
Decisions, they appear and I need assess their importance. What is serious, what not so. The door today, if I sell soon? To much money, But not if I stay any time. This house is worthy of upkeep I am caretaker and, for now, it is mine. Mine to enjoy and Mine the responsibility.... As I learn not all decisions are equal.
Dear I am doing the yard work. It needs doing and Needs renaming. I need the exercise, would rather not Pay for gym, Or yardworker. Doing this work? I will say doing this Gives me some satisfaction on both counts, if Not much joy.
A mulling about day, doing painting, doing chores, Not going very far. I have to admit, a day close to How we’d spend. Except, of course, you are not here and where ever You are, I can not be. All I can do is hold you here Within my heart.
Up early, drive to Annapolis. Good to see a demo By a painter I admire. Analyze, then paint with passion Or vice versa. Good to see others' work, see a friend's painting Get artists' choice. Good to stop by a gallery and A wine shop. Good to arrive home with the sun still up To gift a bottle of wine to neighbors, good To watch sunset.
In between vortex colds an evening soft in light In temps, the sky fading to indigo, while geese In faraway fields Are a hum beneath the chirps of songbirds and The hoot of owls floating on air, still as only Dusk can bring.
A small change taken: set a timer, 60 mins, do yardwork Until the hour is up. Pick a project, there are plenty And do it, If not every day then at least five in the week. Paint, errands, chores, give each time, a lot Can be done.
There are things needing changing which I address as I have the will, not always with great success. That is all right, I will take the small ones In gratitude. Move past a bad morning, a sketch not done ‘til afternoon, Yet preceded by a quiet hour working outside, with The go-go’s help. Then, a good nap surrounded, Solitude with critters.
A day well spent, close to my new ideal, With time at dusk to sit watching The go go's play, While geese in numbers honked. Deer slop Through mud marsh to higher ground bedding down With snorting huffs, As farm machinery hums And cranes glide at tree top, movement in The serene twilight.
Breakfast, coffee and good eggs and sausage, Watch the sun come on the water and the ducks, Geese and songbirds. More coffee with another friend, chance to chat With her, see her studio and work and discuss A few mediums. Easy drive home, like the new car, enjoying The added hour of daylight, busy in the my studio Until dinner time.
Remember love. To have it is/was such a gift, Sweeter than any other given, meant to be cherished While, and after, However hard after might be, I am reminded of Dr Seuss’ words: Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.
It has been a month of morning exercises, a month only, And how that first painting, that bunny, has paved the way For my lessons: Look for the subtle under-colors, that give the whole form, The edge that compliments the line, lost and not, and how The light falls. Do the active thing, consider discipline, let these invite Joy, encourage purpose. Allow solitude its healing graces, And remember love.
Woke to a gray morn that heralded the soft snow To follow. A day of translucent light, cold temps And beautiful colors. Moved my box from window to window, painting The serene views of untrammeled snows stretching Away from me. Moved through the quiet rooms of this house, Enjoying the quality of its spaces and the comfort Of its rooms.
A beautiful warm day and I painted another Dead bird but then took the dogs for a good walk, And a brushing. Tomorrow I’ll not make the long drive to the gallery, Work, alone, spend little time with a friend or hurry Back before snow. I will stay and enjoy the day, my clean house, Prep for the storm, then dine with friends and enjoy Some, the oscars.
The Studio at Line's End Farm is where I paint and try to find some joy again, and some equilibrium, not simple these days. One weblog records thoughts, ideas, methods and mixtures, palettes, observations, actually anything that intrigues me concerning my painting and working in the studio. Another observes only the horse in paintings that I find influential. The last are done for my sanity. All are my opinion only, open to other suggestions.