10/10

What do I know? Not much. Know I am tired,

Feel overwhelmed often, tired of doing it alone

without my partner.

Yet can't say would welcome another partner. 

There is still so much being one requires, more?

Too much work. 

Who knows? Not I. Meanwhile slowly learn

The north star keeps steady not from others but from in itself.

Miss my partner

10/7

How good to have friends come while I work the gallery.

How good painting Joe’s beautiful vegetables, others enjoyed

Seeing, how nice.

10/5

Last weekend our friends and I placed our show in the gallery

This evening was the opening. A fair crowd came.

Sales were made.

But I felt the presence you were, welcoming and offering to all

Libation and good words. I miss you saving Karen a beer.

I missed you.

10/4

Twenty five years ago we were wed. 
Expected to wake this day, together, in a special place, 
Arms wrapped round. 

Interesting that having been slapped hard by it, 
There is not now such fear of death, nor do I court it.
Life is special.

Perhaps, that is the special of this unimaginable
Anniversary for which the only silver given is
In my hair.

9/26

Pink sky this evening with an ember sun,
Corn is down and fields replanted 
In winter wheat. 

Have spent the last few days framing,
Packing, doing last minute things to two years 
worth of paintings. 

The car is full, in two days will be off, again,
This time to fill the front galleries
with my work.

9/24

In this is the hour of rockwell's light
Slanting golden across the tree tops,
There I look

Past the colors deepening into perfect,
Feeling the hint of chill that echoes ever
The soul's sadness.

No longer overwhelming, only a constant 
Tinge of sorrow, deeply rooted, haunting as
The cry of geese. 

9/23

WWT, because need time to wonder wtf happened.
To wonder what ever is next, wonder will that happen,
And wonder how?

To wonder who ever will believe in me, wonder on beauty, 
Wonder on good and colors and where to go. Still in
Widow Wondering Time

9/22

I sit your bench as the sun slips down, red gold
Perfectly framed by my tree, brilliant hues
For beautiful memory. 

9/21

Went to these classes today in a quieter mood,
Expecting to stretch, for sure but in a simpler way
Pleased with work.

9/17

Crisp the evening air while I walk the maze
As the sun settled and I enjoyed the colors, thinking:
Miss you more.

9/14

A week of learning new painting skills to use when back
In my own studio. A week on an island edge, a place totally
New and different.

I have been moving and doing a lot and do realize, all
Has been turning to seek what is now my life alone to hold 
New and different.

9/8

Slipping past another time-zone to arrive 
at the edge of an inland sea to paint, to be with others, 
to learn skills

9/7

In this life do I look now for small pleasures unexpected.
Un-denied, now with praise for the goodness of friends, of
Tasks done well.

9/5

Even I, who has been sure to ever be doing,
Even I wonder how to keep this pace going,
Even I tire.

9/4

A lovely tuesday afternoon spent sitting on the deck
By the river,, enjoying lunch with a friend. She and I
Talk and care.