10/30

It is good creating something and see it pleases another:

Food prepared, homes well made, children raised, love nurtured.

My paintings sell.

10/29

Once again on the road, once again on Branch where

All those years ago I first traveled to join you on

Our marvelous adventure.

It was, you know, marvelous. Our Farm, Finally,

A place to live, to grow, to love. Addresses did change.

Not the love.

Now, not an easy road to drive for more than traffic,

Now, not a road we would want to, heavy with progress, we'd

Now feel misnamed.

10/28

Yesterday I rode with our friend along this river's marshy banks

Places we had yet to go. I am grateful for his good company but, well,

It wasn't you.

But the day was so fine and I enjoyed riding these new trails,

Listening to his tales of who else has lived this land, all the while

Quietly missing you.

I will, you know, miss you. It is part of me now and I hold it,

Remembering you and I, even while reveling in this evening's

A glorious sunset.

10/27

How? How do we touch each other?

How. In the glance, the soft touch we live

In each other.

You did touch and lift and allow me so much

Your love a constant support, well of strength

I thank you.

10/26

Vocation, these last past decades mine was our lives together,

Imperfectly but honestly shared. I loved the life we built

Above all else.

Easy to be your wife, easily rewarded as you just loved me;

Nothing else came close. Memory can carry the sustenance of,

Not the substance.

What now the basis of my life, painting was avocation. A switch?

Your love become my avocation. Now possible painting be vocation?

Should it be?

10/25

What do I want? How would I name it? Home.

Even now without my heart's love, a place where soul, memories,

I can rest.

Home encompassing a sense of peace, of sanctuary, of comfort.

Requiring wherewithal for support in value of vocation,

Compensation for toil.

So what is to be my vocation. Learn to live with myself.

Allow this should probably be learned here, where

I presently live.

10/24

What words can I summon this evening late

That might remotely atone our lost nights,

My mourning hours.

This day unveiled in love for you, every step,

Movement, breath, sound, echoing both

love and loss.

10/23

Indeed grateful for all inclusions felt, yet

Recognize that in the laundry of life, am now

An unmatched sock.

10/22

The hours - sweet to tarry and talk with a friend,

Welcomed into her circle filled wisely - are a balm

For strength needed.

10/21

Not glad to close the door on our fine animals,

My friends, family such as it is. I am off along

The road alone.

10/20

This night I am looking for sleep

Having filled the day with anticipation

Of tomorrow's road.

This day the room you called your own

Has changed, you would not recognize it

Much, I'm sad.

This morning came with the soft drumming

Of rain, gray light and horses snorting

And dogs snoring.

10/19

Months of movement manages only so much.

So a little I've learned, I'm quieter maybe, sadder, and now

I am tired.

Tired as chores pile, as duties demand attention, and

I wonder what's missed, while crossing done off a list

that never ends.

Tired of really having only myself to rely on, inept,

unorganized, unstable, unclear, wondering how one keeps

a steady course.

10/18

Through these past fall days, with company or no,

I walk under skies magnificent, weather soft and you

Ever in mind.

10/17

Deep clear blue skies soar above, we ride a morning

searching for glory. With company, I see this beauty

Alone without you.

10/16

In a moment, odd, it hits our old friends

That however finely we might speak of you,

You are gone.

A gesture, remark, the order of your shop,

It hits, you are gone. Then, the moment moves on,

As do they.

Normal, of course, I recognize others will get on,

Natural to do. I know 'we' were paramount only

To you and me.