12/31

I breath believe the colors of a  day 
stay in the heart to impart fair care to 
those near, dear. 

12/24

No choice, only to hold this dear soul,
Arlo ever happy to see me,
On to you, Dear.

I am just unbelievably undone.

12/12

My Cooper is gone.
As unexpected as were you, Dear.
Gray, cold, beach.

11/8

I come to the evening 
Looking for solace in watching 
The sun set in the blaze 
Of skies darkening. 

Looking for solace in watching
The ensuing drama of color
Of skies darkening,
An attempt to keep life’s order. 

The ensuing drama of color,
Allowing beauty to convey,
An attempt to keep life’s order. 
But for part of each day

Allowing beauty to convey,
The sun set in the blaze. 
But for part of each day
I come to the evening. 

10/30

Walked the slanting shadowed beach 
Chatting with a friend, then
Home to sunset. 

Geese squabble over head,
Wings whirring, silhouettes against
Rose darkening skies

I listen to the splash of river landings,
The cacophony of meetings, seated
On your bench. 

This has been a difficult week
And our dogs are getting old, 
I remind myself

The day is coming closer
I know, for hard decisions, meanwhile 
Sky is amazing. 

10/26

A simple answer I sought:
how unrequited must love be,
to be considered caught
in such hurt it drags the psyche 
undeservedly distraught?

Is it when with each moment I yearn,
pathetically through the day,
a gnawing, niggling burn,
pain of parting in everyway,
a wounded heart I should spurn?

Or, past the pathetic, culpable bliss
of wallowing in the reprimand, 
would it count that what I miss
Is more the moment than the man
More the idea, than the kiss?

9/11

So this morning I asks the powers that be 
For a little equilibrium. The 8 ball says: 
'Try again later'. 

-----

Then, dogs, barking furiously, excitedly as only 
When someone is actually at the door. 
After all everyone 

Comes expressly to see them. Two men, dress shirts, ties. 
I slide by dogs, out door. what can I
Do for you?

You do live way out!
Yes. what can I
Do for you. 

You know, everyone at times in their lives
Need comfort. Where do you look? 
We know of....

Get to the point. I'm busy. 

....Ah, um, oh!
Pulls a watchtower out of a folder.
Nope, not today. 

----

Ask a different question: 
Are the gods amused?
Without a doubt. 

8/28

For too long, corn stands rose too tall, 
too enclosing, smalling my surroundings 
into soft fears.

Only, now the embrace of their tall shadows 
give a calm comfort as might the arms of 
a new lover.

So, standing under deepening aqua skies, 
by the quiet rustle of this phalanx of 
green limbed sentinels,

I accept the affection I am given, friends, 
others, hold it close as a gift and 
bid it welcome.

8/21

It's four in the morning, 
the moon is long gone.
Wrapped in an old robe,
I’m waiting for meteors.
They streak over in pauses, 
like slow uneven breathing.   

A few lone lights steady along.
Who flies at this hour?

A good breeze rustles 
high in corn stalks,
much taller than you.
Was a time I believed only 
such a strong wind could breath 
air back into my lungs, as if

I'd forgotten how.
That’s not really true.

The milky way shimmers, 
As a cat nudges my ankles, 
A soft ghostly touch, 
I do not assume it is so.
And anticipating these showers, 
That’s not really what woke me 

4/26 Tuesday

The western skies are working 
On a strong storm this night, clouds purple, 
Winds pick up.

And, I raise a glass to you, my Dear, on
This evening, knowing the day is soon 
I'll be older

Than ever you were. But not now. Now, 
Geese above, dogs underfoot, and dusk colors the 
Soul slightly melancholy.

And another writer's words linger: just
Come back, you've been gone long enough,
Just come back.

And another voice sings of the speed
Of the sound of loneliness and always, ever, 
I miss you.

3/30

My eyes have been improved, enhanced, corrected
To a new height of see-ability, but not what I need.
I can't paint.

3/29 Tuesday

Spring rides in on winter's shoulders,
The mistletoe still showing on the 
Fingers of trees,

While cherry blossoms subtly scent
Evening skies and greenery emerges
From corn stubble.

On high, over a glowing horizon, post
Equinox stars shine in a deepening palette of 
Varied dark blues. 

3/25 Thursday

At times you encircled me
In your arms, close, kissing
Me deeply in,

And I, I would soften gladly, breathing
You in.  But, by sunrise you were
Moving away, back

To your life, away, away from mine.
Any sweet moments given, taken,
Just not enough.

3/16 Wednesday

The dates we keep, for myriad reasons

So many years ago, this time, your mother, my friend

Gone. Now you.   

She's gone, said your brother, as we both

Drew a breath in. In one sense, yes, you're gone.

Left to memory,

Left, for us, to remember, to wonder how 

To hold fast to the rendition of you we love,  

Each simply hoping 

Perhaps tomorrow, our own versions of you

Will finally rest within us, sweetly ensconced

In our souls.

As perhaps wherever you go, we remain 
Your version, known only to you. Perhaps that also 

Gives you comfort.

3/15 Tuesday

Beware the Ides of March

Not really something to be wary

On this evening,

Soft and clear, birds calling 

in the pearly dusk, far in time,

miles from Rome. 

Better beware the gloom of self,

Locked hard on lonely, forfeiting others',

One's own kindness. 

Rather dwell on those fellowship's

Dear, the beauty around, the grace 

Of time left.

3/14 Monday

Last night I dreamt of arms
That were not yours, were not
Anyone's I know.

Dreamt of someone standing as much 
Expectant as welcoming, and as such
It did appeal.

As if where he stood was more
A portal to where I wish to be, 
Moving with equilibrium. 

3/12 Saturday

To watch the sun set drawing 
Past dusk into gloaming, snifter of 
Balvenie in hand

And two goldens afoot, to hear 
Geese chatter in the far marshes,
While skies deepen

Past ultramarine til stars above
Quicken over my small farm,
Is simply magical. 

3/11 Friday

As sunset nears, its best to be in our yard, 
Our dogs near, a glass of wine in hand. 
A good day.

Our dog, will be with you, I think, 
By the next snows. May he get one last chance to make
Doggy snow angels 

Before becoming one. The now, the moment 
Is all he knows. 6:07 Sunset falls where I love 
Best, for now. 

2/14 Sunday

A lift today from liam neeson's words: 
"Everyone says love hurts, but that 
Is not true. 

Loneliness hurts. Rejection hurts. 
Losing someone hurts. 
Envy hurts. 

Everyone gets these things confused 
With love, but in reality love is 
The only thing 

In this world that covers up all 
Pain and makes someone 
Feel wonderful again. 

Love is the only thing 
In this world that 
Does not hurt".

2/9 Tuesday

Two steps forward, one step back,
Or the other way around, depends
On the day.

Today was a step forward, back
Into welcoming the hours for
All they encompass

And all they give, for the moments 
Of service, to those of rest,
All are good.

2/8 Monday

My eyes are healing well.
I have a few more weeks
Of odd sight,

Before being fitted for new glasses.
I wander the days, lost in perspectives.
None quite right

For what I need to see, not visually, 
Not emotionally. Both needing time
To reconsider right.

2/7 Sunday

Allowed myself to be distracted, 
In many ways. Allowed another 
to sidetrack me,

Bushwhack me with thoughts
Of caring and affection where
There is none

But my own wistfulness wish
For then, loosing needing being
On my own.

2/6 Saturday

Have allowed myself to be distracted, 
From painting, from thinking, so go enjoy
A silly play.

2/5 Friday

Woke to a soft scarf of snow covering all, 
A quiet snow doing its frosting thing
Just being pretty.

2/4 Thursday

This morning friends leave early. 
Yes, I am saddened but let them
Go, knowing, feeling

The connection of shared time.  
The day goes hushed with the aftermath
Of leave taking.

In the ensuing quiet, am left considering
Where paths have been moved by love,
And where not.

2/3 Wednesday

Friends slept, and I bundled 
In the turtle blanket 
Did trundle out

To watch the stars swirl high, twirling 
Through moonless skies, brilliant bits
Of diamond light.
. 
Dozing below these bright sharp notes, 
The cold seeps deeply through, until,
I wake amazed.

2/2 Tuesday

For the past sixty years
I have been nearsighted, it is
All I know.

Now the rest of my days 
I’ll be longsighted, can see
In mid flight

The wing marks of a hawk,
But not the weave of my canvas
Without visual help.

2/1 Monday

Early, the second eye done, then,
Friends ferry me to breakfast
And onward home.

1/31 Monday

By afternoon the house is filled
first with dogs playing then joined
By old friends,

The house sounds with laughter,
Wine and good food, I wish the giggles
Could reach others.

1/29 Friday

A quiet cool day through which
The soft buoy bell-tones of the gong,
Counterpoint the hours.

1/24 Sunday

A few days later, a few inches more
Not enough to shovel but plenty for 
Go-go’s to play.

1/22 Friday

Spent these few days prepping for snow,
What I can, as my eye limits me now.
Indeed even more

Than not having you here as for so long
I have had to learn to adjust to doing 
As just me

I have, y’know, accepted those parameters
Are still close enough to notice the weight 
Of anything extra. 

1/20 Wednesday

Odd to have one eye that sees far
I have not seen far for as long
As I remember.

1/19 Tuesday

Early rise to have an eye cut,
Cataract, a friend reassures me
It'll be okay.

1/18 Monday

Wake to sun sparkling
Through ice crusted branches
On snow-crusted fields.

It is now official, I am almost six
Months done with treatment and
Nine months clear. 

1/17 Sunday

Down and back, two long days driving,
Then hauling home a friends new trailer.
It is fun,

As was the excursion to a new place,
Into a new adventure. It is cozy and
I want one.

Then it's just the go-go’s and I
Heading down now familiar roads
In first snow.

1/14 Thursday

A day cool enough for flannel jeans 
And a walk along tom’s cove 
To the point 

Air clear and cool, tide low enough for 
Easy walking, wending our way where 
Ponies often trod.

As the sun starts its descent 
And afternoon wanes to dusk
I am both 

Happy for the company of friends
And saddened when time comes 
Seeing them go.

1/13 Wednesday

A slowpot winter, weekly stews to see through
By now it's best, having company welcomed,
Watching the president.

1/10 Sunday

A golden afternoon, the go-go’s help
As I repair the electric fences while
Enjoying their antics.  

1/7/ Thursday

Your sister goes for treatments again
I don't call often enough, that was
So your talent.

1/6/16

Seven sixes ago twas a wednesday, 
Cold and clear. Life has cycled again 
To another mid-week 

Day of crystalline air. Standing then in
The moment when afternoon light decides to 
Slip towards dusk, 

The first time living in that lucid air where 
You no longer were, left me terrifyingly, alone. 
Yet on days, 

Like that devastating day and like this day, 
The same astonishing, overwhelming clarity 
Suffuses the heavens, 

Infuses my eyes to my soul, where you 
Yet touch, with soft promise, with hope and 
I walk on.

1/1/16 Friday

A walk with the go-go’s on Sandy Neck
Along cape cod bay, backwash through
The pebbled strand.

Years ago I woke each morn to that lovely sound.
The go-go’s now frolic in the wave hems. I make 
A decision finally,

To just let go and to live my own life, at last. 
I pick among stones, leaving one for the
Kindness Rock Project