4/30

I meet with a friend to look over
A very small shop, more we meet and
Let dreams grow.

4/29

All in all, I need being here alone.
Perhaps not what I want. Maybe one
I’ll know both.

4/28

I know being first in another’s life,
Now what is like to no longer have, 
Or be, that.

I know I am now peripherally 
In others’ life, and enjoy when place is 
Made for me.

I am now no one’s number one,
I may well now have to be that 
For myself alone.

Doesn’t mean I accept being someone's 
Substitute until something better shows,
Not from anyone.

4/26

Staying with friends this day, 
Morning omelets, then visiting
A neighbor's studio. 

Coffee, with another just in 
From Malawi, ready for sleep, it’s 
A long flight. 

Throughout all, the aroma of lilacs.
Such a Victorian symbol of
Spring, and youth, 

And innocence. But beyond the fresh
Joy of the season, the smell of
Lilacs has always 

Evoked a minor key of nostalgia, 
A sense of loss for those things spring 
Can not renew. 

T'was a seven years difference, 
Between you and me. Today, 
A scant two. 

In the afternoon, we set out 
The lilacs and, shadowed 
By that scent 

Of memory, painted them 
Under the shade splashed oak. 
I miss you.

4/22

Left friends along that perfect seaside
To head home to my place, yes, my place now,
Though I know

Home is as I am, wherever, however that is, 
In the letting me be satisfied for this now.
So then why

Much later, in an evening amidst kind hearted 
Enough people did I expect to find you
With these strangers?

4/21

Waking to the sound of surf is just so
Perfect. It really is, my ears and skin
Awaken lightly, gently,

To the ever present drumming of waves
With the softness of salt air tickling the nose,
All my surfaces.

I walk the dogs early along the sand strand, 
Waves taller than I stand, wind high, before
Returning to paint.

4/20

I am in that place Ava G wanted by the sea,
A place I have learned, like so much, does 
Not last forever,

Yet still may come on moments cherished, in its bits 
Of time, short or long, for the joy and beauty
Of being there.

I learn here, to acknowledge the wonder, 
the awe, to recognize the hurt, pains, joy
Of first, now.

4/19

An inbetween day, wet paintings shown then
Heading to the beach with a gathering of friends
Each sharing caring.

4/18

Paint through the day and then crash early.
Friends go on into the evening, gather with others,
A good time.

4/17

In the middle of the day painting,
I get a call, my new best friends are
Doing their job,

I am at the moment HCV free,
My old friends whoop and holler, 
Rejoice with me.

4/16

Early morning, paint the marsh behind
Mid morning, prep and ready the house
Late morning, greet friends.

4/15

Docs visit went well, stopped for more labs
Then cleared the decks before painting
On the boat-ramp.

4/13

Last night we stayed in a lovely old house
Perched by the banks of a tidal inlet
Enjoying good hospitality.

Early morning I drove my dear friend
To fly off to her own adventures of 
Life allowing sweetness.

This evening I walked the labyrinth
I added to this home we made, alone, and
Full of you.

4/11

I am learning to live alone well. I say 
This because now, the pleasure of another 
Spending time here

Is sweetly complimentary, an added fillip 
To days good enough to encourage one
Always to hope.

4/9

The second set of pills are here, meanwhile
We sleep, we rest, talk and just let the hours
Slip comfortably by.

4/7

Did you enjoy the black and tan? We did.
Jaynie and I and the go-go’s, riding long 
Roads towards home.

4/6

A busy day before leaving and I planned to visit
You this morning, but plans change. Chose to see
An old friend,

Spend the early day with her,  then met others
For dinner. Will stop by in the morning, share a 
beer with You

4/4

Yesterday sounds isolating, not the intention. 
As You and I, together, encompassed others
Into the complete 

Sweet circle of our life, enjoying the richness 
They brought, I need now to find fulfillment 
On my own,

Complete, where the company of others 
Becomes once again a joy adorning life 
Not directing it.

4/3

My friends, who have been there for me,
Are not as much in many ways now,
For things change,

As things always will. Sometimes well,
Sometimes not. These friends do remain
caring and considerate.

Yet it is time now to truly live alone.
To rely on myself first, not others, for
My life’s purpose.

4/2

I walked these floor as a child
Wondering what the world would bring.
It brought you.

I have walked these floors not so long past, 
Eaten by the misery of missing you.
I still miss

You, will always miss you being by me. 
It has taken awhile, feeling I can live, you,
Only within me. 

4/1

The sun is out and the snow melts
Slowly in the cool morning light.
I feel content

To wake in this room with the dogs
Underfoot and the house silent.
I rise slowly

From soft, grayed dreams of
Hushed concerns, yet I am left
Quiet of heart.