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Tag happily along for a meeting with the annuity fellow,
To listen to his pitch and ask questions, too. We three
Listen happily together.
Better is to then treat for lunch at Yellow Dog Eats,
Their choice, delightful, and sweet to share this new
Discovery near them.
Last nights steak and annuity dinner gave us
All good food, entertainment and even things
To think about.
From finances to family, gone and here, to dogs
Who keep us smiling, to considering what will be
The next steps.
I spend the day with these two people, my family
Because they are your family and we are comforted
In each’s company.
A delightful day visiting the Morse Museum
Of Tiffany's amazing work in the company of
Your sweet sister.
Drove southeast to your sister’s new place
They are so happy here and I must say
Hurrah for them!
Wanted the house-sitter to have it not hard.
Relied on another to do a task, not add to it.
Would’ve been easier
To set straight when I had planned.
Thankfully it didn’t take too much time from
enjoying my friends.
Dinner from a found recipe requiring both
Of us to prepare with good seasonings and
Lots of laughter.
Picked up car and on the road before noon.
Picked up phone to hear of things not done
And problems arose.
And after I settled down, realized I only can
and should do what I can do that makes me
And mine happier.
Arrived to walk back roads with my friend and her dog
To chat with a neighbor and admire her horse, then
Home to cook.
Reached the destination in good time,
Neighbors glad to see their friend.
Dinner was good.
Long day driving but not hard
Pleasant weather and company,
The day flowed.
It is still so cold here but not like four years ago.
I will be on the road again tomorrow morning, travelling
with a friend,
Her escort south. We will talk a lot and hole up in some
motel several hours out, then rise and back on the road.
She’s good company.
Today, spent getting things in order and, as usual wistful,
At leaving, thinking there are so many things to do, even
Amidst being alone.
Another arctic sensibility has descended showering its splendor
In cold slanting late light, rosy and manganese blue on snowy whites,
Purpled through shadows.
The sky, crystal gradations of soft greens through deep cobalt,
The snow, crisp underfoot. My work on the beautiful table built
By a friend.
While that snow-shine bathes through these high-ceilinged rooms,
I sit here, sweet coffee near, searching for words, contently suffused
In wintry light.
Left the windows undraped, who'd look in, I do not care.
Life already feels closed in, whittled down too spare to further
Hinder sight lines.
The part of the house I do not use, it is looking pretty good.
The part I live in, well looks as it always has, messy in the corners,
filled with concerns.
It rather reflects my life now, I suppose, the part I use little
Presents well, where I am unraveling, raveling, doing as I can
is not pretty.
On this day, another quiet day of little contact, I count
what has happened: a young person came and fixed
my ceilings well
At a price I thought very good. Whew, a bit of beauty there!
I am grateful to receive it, otherwise, for all that sweetness
I am alone.
A state I must need to accept and consider with love and passion.
For it is what is now and I can't be blinded to not consider how
now life is.
During this string of quiet days, I am occupied
In the studio. Yesterday’s problem, although still
Under consideration, does
Not keep me from my work, only lets the mind ramble
Through thoughts of why I do this, not will I do this. It is
Not for company,
Not for money or obviously recognition. Little in any, but enough.
If I have problems on this road, they are mine, along with the
Work done well.
This day has not been easy as I have been delt a blow
To my core that runs deep and I do no longer can ask a
Person dear, true?
Am I way off or not? I think I am, so must go with that.
This so hurts most, and as I have no longer trusted guidance,
I am alone.
So must measure the hurt of rejection against the truth
of ability. I have never had ability. Perhaps it is time
to recognize that.
An enjoyable afternoon lunch along the river with a friend.
A good talk, each of us is coping, while considering
Thriving again possible.
This photo, found in Wyoming, hangs near my desk,
Testimony to always welcome what I love, what brings joy,
What is fine.
A token evoking courage not only to open arms wide
To that which is cherished but if it is good, to even
Embrace the cost.
Another quiet day, fog at daybreak,
Clearing by mid-morning, warm. I try to keep
Thoughts warm, too
As I move through the day, calling friends and
Contemplating where life could take me if I could
Decide to move
My self in a good direction. Am learning you will always
Move with me, soft and encompassing as walking through
Evening ground fog.
Spent a bit of the morning painting, a quick sketch
Still considering grays, reflective of how I feel,
Which is fine,
For there are times when being swathed in fog
As tonight, allows time to be quiet, reflect, consider.
And paint more.
When that happens well, I feel space open, letting
The mind chose and contemplate even if just in
Passages of paint.
A run a around day, the car will get fixed, of course,
Generator will start, I putter about in between glad
For small things.
The skies are swathed in color this evening,
Hear friends’ child will marry on your birthday, glad
For good things.
Today the ceiling is getting fixed, tomorrow will need
To start calling for the car to get fixed. The damage
is not much,
And I am not hurt, but the time. Have been gone
much of the past month and am feeling at odds
and so behind
And while much of the paperwork is caught up.
And the house cleaned up, the habit of painting
feels dried up.
Spent most of the day just catching up then
an invite to dinner and I went, it is company
that I enjoy.
So I went even though still had plenty to do here
Driving home a deer hit me, adding to the feeling
I can’t catch up.
Woke to a pearl gray day of quiet rain,
Two cats purring among the pillows, two
Dogs sleeping, but
No you. No longer wake to your warmth but
Wake ever to your presence remembered
All through me,
Allowing me to move through the hours
Hemmed by soft dampness, content to
Be inside working.
Home in time to see the wallops rocket launch,
spiraling wisps over our hay fields. You did
Just enjoy that.
Dusk settles in blues and purples,
soft viridians and red golds. I do
Just miss you.
Lamb dinner, I experimented on friends at the beach house,
Where we drank wine and ate and talked and just shared time.
Evening was beautiful
Not even four years ago was it as cold as today
That was a chill deeper than this, pierced cold hurtful
This simply freezing.
That I can take, driving the coastline to be with friends,
Hunkered in warmth of a good cottage and company on
The Atlantic shore.
I was not sure what this day would bring for me.
I love you, miss you and wish you were yet
by my side.
So through this quiet day, a day sliding into
Bitter cold, I moved trying to ready all with help
from a friend.
But moved mostly in quiet solitude, finally
painting a sketch for you, as I used to, of me.
Can you see.
A day of driving and listening to music,
All the songs I chose for your memorial
And I wept,
Wept for these and new ones, but mostly
Allowed the music to sooth even when
I heard this:
Have you ever lost all that you can loose?
Then, you are a paid up member
Of the blues.
I have had a good afternoon and evening with your old friend
And his girl. I wish you would’ve met each other. We talk late
into the night.
It is still snowing and blustery, we watch the weather
And I walk the dogs, take pictures and return
To paint more.
Woke to snow and cold, my dogs like playing in it
But only for a little while, I finally break open
the paint box.
Left aunt, mom laughing in the kitchen, bid goodbye
To a friend as she headed off to pick-up family, went
Walking the beach.
