11/30

Again, I await the arrival of a friend

The arrival of a presence here. Not you, alas,

But nonetheless, good.

Tonight it is an old friend, reconnected joy,

Coming with the gift of compassion, wise and

Willing to listen.

Her being here, sharing this home, just a day

Or two is kindness that gives my heart respite,

A sweet perspective.

11/29

The horse I sit moves into the afternoon sun, grazing

Tall grass. A friend phones some business. I wait content

In warm light.

11/28

In the morning sun light, our friends, (she is yours, too)

Embraced me and in the coolness of the bright fall day

Left for home.

Left me here in this home, a quiet place where I will learn

To rest, learn to wait, open to what may come, knowing

Friends will help.

11/27

A year ago, a year ago I remember, Dear, how excited you were,

And I for you. I remember, every day, you. But your opening day deer?

Is not ready

11/26

An ordinary day, we woke, he brewed coffee, lunched,

She and I shopped, visited your museum, dined with friends,

An extraordinary day.

11/25

Why did I so feel the need to keep this tradition this year?

Why? We found it good to keep, rarely with many, but those few

Ever so dear.

In our souls, in our words, were you there, for the grace

Of our friends, I give thanks and it is true, we remember our loves

In our hearts

11/24

Briefly this friend and I speak, of being here longer,

Once would never have thought of staying but now can

Allow the possibility.

Neighbors, stop by, the sun shines warmly, dogs play.

We all walk mown pastures, shoot clays over stubble fields,

Help one another.

Through a day of beauty we move together, friends

Accompanying friends through all manners of passes,

Supporting each other.

11/23

Did clean and neaten our home for our friend and

You would ever so loved meeting his friend.

She is caring.

And for her good heart to come so far, leave her own,

Consent to travel with our friend, their kindness spent here,

I am thankful.

11/22

Early rise to walk along a river park, to paint cool waters,

Warm colors, happy in the moment, friends near to share

A morning's beauty.

11/21

Moving off into a quiet Sunday morning is special,

The roadways clear, easy, the day bright, sweet arriving

To friend's welcome.

A soft joy recognizing her home, admiring quiet spaces.

Hearing neighbors', shopping the mart, dining with friends,

Sleep deeply rested.

11/20

So often am stuck floating aimlessly, just get through the day.

Lost in the middle of where? Here, nowhere, no longer does life skim

Heart to mind

With the ease of innocence, simplicity of aims. I do know now

time was sweeter. Now wits mired in mud, feet lost in fog, find

Trusting me hard.

Time is needed to wend the way, find the compassed cause

Able to hold a soul steady. Now, perhaps, must satisfy to just

Hold fear better.

11/19

I will not say this day was not good, but it was filled.

Took another widowed one to the opening, she talked,

We all laughed.

11/18

Mark the time gone by, the evening warm enough to sit

Outside as the sun sets. A talisman of transition soothes

My lonely soul.

Mark the time, weeks no traveling done. Mark my own

Company can suffice, even preferred. If given in small steps

I am okay.

Mark the time, strive for the plausible, the hour, the day gained in

Increments of solace between the wide steppes. Too far forward

Looks too empty.

11/17

Week ago sat in the station as friends played their blues show,

Watching the fine play possible between couples. Ours is gone,

Glad theirs isn't.

11/16

In the midst of blues, of tentative steps approached,

Two events occur, and as so often happen, in their time,

Not really mine.

A friend calls talking of a spectrum wide of issues, says

My voice, I sound stronger, tells of those he loves, how to

Trash stuff, lol!

And I clean my palettes, set paints, bring up images stored

Since last winter, they have been frozen to my soul waiting,

Now to emerge.

11/15

Not a simple morning, telling someone who did not know. Came back,

Re-raked in a high snit. Remember, over a year since had one of those.

You would laugh.

But, you see, this chore was mine alone to do this year, next year

may be different, but the doing, the carrying out of this deed this time

Needed doing alone.

Needed only you for company, and the swirling, whirling flight

Of starlings, whose undulating flights delighted you that last morning.

This too, I remember.

11/14

Awoke realizing that raking, for me, is reparations done

For missing you. Petty, I begrudge help given kindly. But, a

Little, I do.

Entered the day unsettled and unnerved, adrift.

In inches the day looms long, along with learning to live

Within my solitude.

Afternoon, a gift of riding good horses, of friendship,

While evening sets below the horizon in golden glazes

Faith feeds us.

11/13

Shrouded these times ever in sorrow, though not

always apparent, have at times lamented the loss

Of a friendship.

Too soon, as these friends we knew come saying

Come over, or we are coming, however, all meaning

We are here.

11/12

The summer's travels gave space, a place not our home,

Time to learn of living without your physical presence.

Time to consider:

Can I possibly live here alone, not forever, but for time

Enough to let my mind settle? It is too isolated, too large,

Too much work.

Yet, so beautiful, room for home, studios, good neighbors.

There could be worse places for learning living alone, what I

Want for myself.

11/11

We, we, we...we were. No longer.

No, no, no...no longer am I a we.

Only Linda alone.

Only now see well enough the beauty

Of We to know the worth yet in becoming

Only Linda alone.

11/10

Bone-cold are the waters off Scusset Beach

But come not close to that given by last winter's

soul freezing chill.

Years ago Catherine and I sat that beach and she

Remarked: I've been widowed and I've been divorced,

Dead is better.

They are gone and can no longer hurt you.

Felt then, I understood but now? Now much more

I would ask.

11/9

For friends who come by and do wish to be near,

For the flute's beautiful soaring sound, I give thanks

For hours so blessed.

11/8

Early up, prep a simple breakfast, pack an after-ride nosh.

They like the bread. Along the Atlantic, sea-sprayed, we ride

Into the wind.

Hope their time here was pleasing, but am full

For now, of others, however pleasant all their

Stories so different.

So evening again on your bench as the ruddy-red sun slips

Below the far treelines, below the energy of the day,

I wish rest.

11/7

A friend calls, has sold two of my paintings.

The neighbors' guests arrive, settle in upstairs.

We ride horses.

Guests in this house, we all dance small courtesies,

Allowing time together to spiel smoothly. This is

A new endeavor.

11/5

It is getting colder, fine it is November

And ever did I like this time for being outside,

For golden hours.

11/6

Ten months out on this strange sorrowed sea,

A journey which will raise new horizons but never

Our home port.

11/4

Friends call, while we talk, for that time

I am connected, their lives and mine entwine.

It feels good.

11/3

What will this day bring?

Hours long and quiet, filled with

Small things done.

11/2

Still in a place with little or no footing, still

Barely feeling a bit of toehold, a wisp of light,

A hint of path.

11/1

Upon your bench I sit, glass of wine in hand, writing,

Sad, wishing, glad for having your love, for having such

Sunsets before me.

Ah, setting suns we'd both exclaimed the beauty. Colors now dim,

An owl hoots, cat purrs, a duck quacks and I am so tired,

The glass empty.

Time to take the go-go's in and rest.

Tonight I am overwhelmed

Over my head.