2/3

In the ever hours I am now alone as never I knew alone.

In these ever hours I miss the physical of you, just, just

I miss you.

In these ever hours that meld loss and pain and future,

These ever hours that last forever and flash a second gone

I miss you.

In these ever hours where the shelter is thin at best,

I wish, ever so wish and yearn and hopefully strive on, 

Still missing you.

2/2

A candle lit for my Dear, near to my heart

A candle lit for those also who hurt 

from being apart

A candle lit for all walking this path 

wondering how, how, how does 

life again start.

1/30

Stood, these past few days, in ten degree weather, 
Stood in snow on the other side of Canaan, where
Once you lived. 

In frigid air colder than I've ever stood,
Painting, learning of the vibrancy of color, 
Learning allowing vibrancy.

Now, home, standing in an approaching front 
I relish the warmer winds and do not miss
You any less. 

1/21

Four years, four years, ago, we watched, watched
This country’s gala event. Now this president re-eleceted
How, without you.

1/20

Working a bit differently these last two painting,

Our dogs, listening to myself work out the differences

These are painted

Listening to myself, work out the differences of words

In time, realizing, at that time, I would have hated

Anyplace I live.

Learning to perhaps listen for the change, in painting,

In life, in work, in abode, allowing the time to come,

Allow I’m ready.

1/17

A few days of slipping quietly alone here
A few days, mostly content to be alone,
Puttering and painting

1/13

A weekend with sweet house guests filling the rooms.
We talk and cook and paint and encourage each other
Even without the wine

1/9

Listening to the blues as I paint your dog Arlo
From a reference pic taken years ago, Arlo emerging
Out of shadow.

1/7

Lost a quote about when in doubt, do the active thing, 
it is more life giving. Found this start of a speech Kelly Rigg 
gave in Doha:

"What gives you hope? This is a question I'm often asked these days. 
And what I've come to realize is that being hopeful ..... 
is not something 

that just happens -- at least not to me. It's not a passive process, but 
an active one. Hope isn't something I have, it's something I have to go 
out and find."

1/6

Waved our friend goodbye this morning,
Grateful this winter is mild. Then rode
The white horse

Through the quiet farm lanes coming back
To sit your bench as the sun set, grateful for the
Time with you.

Grateful for the love we shared, the memories we made
The light of the sun tinged treetops, but, missing you, always
Just missing you.

1/3

Our friend and his girl will be here in a day,

I prep for them, quietly moving through these rooms,

Walking these halls,

Considering what is needed to make them comfortable,

Content - for them and for me, as I walk through this time

With you within.

1/1

Again on the road, early enough to miss most traffic
Early enough to drive easily, early enough home
To see sunset.

Again coming up the long rutted dirt road, 
The pine flanked drive to the last quiet place you lived. 
Glad to be home.

12/31

Lobster again, simply boiled with butter, family,
A dear friend, prosecco to toast, finally, her success,
The new year.

12/29

A magic evening watching a friend’s dream evolve 
In front of us, her words spoken on the venerable
Old P’town stage.

And this swirl of sweetness carried us blind 
Through snow, tough driving, lifted by the success of 
This dear friend.

12/25

These days spent with family, among the many, for whom 
Life is just normal, among the few, widowed but here,
Grateful for all.