12/31

Eve a new year, we honored by sleeping through,

Waking with the morning into the new,

Sleepy, happy, together.

Honestly, little welcome here for this year, less

For the last. Movement fords forward, with you only

In my heart.

12/30

Mostly not doing things that so need being done

But spent time with a neighbor, driving, talking,

Tending small errands.

Taking time for talk, small or not, for sharing

Lunch, thoughts, ideas, for enjoying the company

Of good friends.

12/29

A day spent driving, taped books, dogs, sifting

Through my own slushy thoughts for harmony,

a resting place.

Over snow-packed roads, into sharp cold air

Find the car-park, the walk to the door

My path cleared.

Welcomed home by these small kindnessess

This simple caring of friends, gives to me

Such grateful comfort.

12/28

A day waiting, this time to go back

Hah, back, wistful time, waiting, now

To go forward.

12/27

By an old faith it is a year this day, but I haven't it in me

To keep track of two calendars, not now, not while

Living in transition.

Yet, will next week be any easier?

Won't be where we lived then either, only moving

Through more change.

But as I travel further into living alone, searching

New anchor points, one always, is a candle lit for you

In my heart.

12/26

A blizzard whirls around, winds, flurries intensely

Buffet as the dogs walk and I am intensely, acutely aware

You aren't here.

12/25

It is possible to be in company, family, others,

And to be fines, enjoy their company, a day loe filled

For each other.

But I can not help but be aware you are not here,

That the space you no longer fill is so really missed

Most by me.

12/24

A quick trip leaves my mother sprawled, down.

A trip to emergency, she leaves hurt, banged a bit,

But is fine.

Not an easy day which does not improve,

We are all testy, thin-skinned, hurting. Walk dogs

Crying in coldness.

12/23

A day begun with a good friend and coffee, time

Together doing small tasks, consideration given to

Where life goes.

An afternoon spent in small things once taken

For granted, now fraught with meaning, return

To strong coffee.

Evening gathers family, food and quiet

Conversations carrying across decades, cake,

Coffee, good hours.

12/22

Accommodations may meed be made for grief, perhaps

Part is the assimilation of it into my life, which is not

Just my grief.

12/21

It has snowed most of this day. I hang

on the edge between happy and un, aware

choice is mine.

12/20

A friend, a wise one spoke of "used to's";

How the pain when remembering what used to be became

Bridges for her.

Making peace wit the pain of "used to's", of separation,

Allowed eventually, bridges not simply to her Dear but

To her future.

12/19

Woke early to join a friend, a sunday service;

Music, song, company, to talk of many things

Not be alone.

12/18

All this day walked knowing a mark

Had passed, a time we were hopeful and

Full with ourselves.

I am not so filled with just myself but am trying.

It is not always good but I keep my feet moving, even

If only shuffling.

12/17

Here the year approaches, twelve month since we knew you

Had cancer, yet so hopeful, so hopeful, so trusting and then

You were fine.

Now recognize have felt but some of the toll, grasp more will come.

Now realize each step taken, every breath exhaled just takes me further

From our time.

Three rings, our rings circle my finger that has gladly worn

Their weight, slight in ounces, yet now a ton of emotion, in joys,

In sorrows born.