Sunday, September 18, 2011

9/18

This evening sat on an outerbanks dune looking over the atlantic
watching the day close, the drama of clouds while wind and surf
Roared past me.

In the cottage behind are friends. While I have believed that the
Circle of a decade would have you ever in my heart, never no longer
By my side.

As tears fall, I pull the wrap closer round Memories of us in my
Heart. The spiral has rounded to this place, a step removed but held
Dearer than that.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

9/11

On a fall evening not long after the towers fell,
I sat on the south rim of the Grand Canyon watching
The evening fall,

The colors in the clouds, the rainstorms move far off.
The breath of wind on my face heralding
A coolness coming

And the quiet softness only emphasizing the space.
Behind, in the cottage you lay reading, waiting, love
Of my heart.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

9/7

Have read of cultures that believe life is a spiral movement,
More than a circle, never closed. I do not know, but, at times
Either seems good.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

9/6

I have no family and do not know if moving would give this,
Have a sense of support of friends here still their lives are
Not my own.

Part of the problem, I miss the sense of the two we were.
Now, only me. And I want not to be only an addendum to the
Life of others.

Monday, September 5, 2011

9/5

I like having space around me,
Probably not wise to think I "need" such but I do
Really want it.

Maybe not sensible but I have lost Jack,
I am not ready to give away this sense, this
Need of space.

Why should I if I need not. I have that allowance
for now and the fact Jack shared here where now
I live alone.

Sunday, September 4, 2011

9/4

Making a decision is better than not making one,
There is then at least a point from which to move,
I've been told.

But sitting on the fence is also a point,
And perhaps a point to move from with less
Damage to control.

9/3

Moving as a couple with you I could do easily.
Even leaving friends, changing much, the core remained,
You and I.

With that anywhere was possible, even if not preferable.
Now? As half, it is so difficult, just about impossible to consider,
Never mind decide.

And perhaps that is part of what is going on: I am still the sorry
Half left of a wonderful whole. How can I think that I could
Make a good decision?

Friday, September 2, 2011

9/2

Now there's some comfort here, a steady point to move from,
To change, to make decisions from the support of what
We did together.

True, as time goes on, decisions become all mine alone.
Perhaps I am coming closer to the one concerning
Where I live.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

9/1

This is the last place I have with you. We may have stayed.
Now, just me, do I stay as it is easier? Harder is deciding to move
On my own